


Sometimes Shenanigans Make Good Things Happen, Other Times They Just Bite You in The Ass

by KagamineLify



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Accidents, Alternate Universe - High School, Disability, Drama, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, No one knows how to stop teasing Jake on his crush, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Typical high school shenanigans, Unjust court rulings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2015-02-07
Packaged: 2018-03-10 21:13:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3303650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KagamineLify/pseuds/KagamineLify
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake English wasn't always a quiet kid who'd just nod, do as he was told, and then went along his way. No, before that, he went out and did things like normal kids. He'd go out with his parents, play outside, and socialize. No, it was the hunting accident that changed him into the person he's become today. No one talks about it to him now since they pity him. He hates that, but at he same time he could care less what they thought of him. Everyone except the douche who's captured his heart unknowingly, Dirk Strider. It's always a good thing to have friends who tease you about your crush. It's not like it makes a certain someone want to commit mass murder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes Shenanigans Make Good Things Happen, Other Times They Just Bite You in The Ass

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first story I decided to write and upload here on AO3. A certain person might have egged me to keep writing, so here it is. DirkJake High school AU with a lot of shenanigans in it. It may have a rough start to begin with, but bear with me guys, I'll make it at least sorta decent. This hasn't been betaed, so it probably has errors. If anyone wants to help me remedy that, just drop me a message in my inbox. Happy Reading.~

Jake English was always a quiet individual during school. There wasn't much for him to do or say besides be a nervous wreck when someone gave him the time from their day to ask him something. He'd just look down, answer quietly, and prayed they went away by the time he dared to look back up. He wasn't always like that before the hunting incident. At least to his face, no one mentioned it for good reasons. It left him with scars physically, and more importantly, mentally.

‘He’ll never be the same.’ His doctors told his grandparents. ‘That boy is as normal as he will ever get with the help we gave him. It’s just abnormal the things he utters and does. We fear he might have Conduct Disorder. Are you sure he’s your grandson? I’m sure we may have accidentally switched the-’

‘Of course Jakey is! Why must you even question that?! Never in all my years of living have I heard such...’ His Nanna blew a fuse telling off that doctor. It was quite a sight to behold, his beloved and old Nanna almost beating the young doctor to a pulp with her words, and maybe cane, with grand Pappy trying to hold her back. Obviously, the words the doctor exchanged with his grandparents didn’t satisfy them.

‘No, we love our Jakey dearly, and know he’ll come back around when it’s time, even if we’re not alive to see it.’

God bless both of their souls. They had passed away as soon as Jake had entered high school. Their passing had greatly affected him, even the funeral was difficult for him to go to. He now lived with his cousin John and Mr. Egbert. They had offered their complete and utter support, which is the main reason why Jake is the way he is presently. Before the Egberts, Jake could barely keep up a conversation. much less utter a word. Now he’s just a quiet kid who’ll sometimes pipe in some silly phrase, or respond when spoken to. He even has a small group of friends who he hangs out with, which is a huge improvement from none. Speaking of his friends…

“Hey, Jakey! Over here!” A somewhat slurred, texan accent that could only belong to one Miss Roxy Lalonde. “You’re not daydreaming again, are ya? I bet you are. Do you need Dick, I mean Dirk, to kiss you to wake up?” She wiggles her eyebrows for added effect.

“As if! I don’t want squat to do with Strider, Roxy.” He flushes crossing his arms together. Girls always had to pick on your potential crush, didn't they. ‘There should be a law against that.’ He thinks. ‘I’ll bring that up to John on our next debate.’

“On the contrary, I knoooow you have the biggest, most obvious crush on Dirk Strider, genius extraordinaire and pony lover. I mean, c’mon, Jakey, ya can’t deny it. You doodle the cutest shit on your notes about him.”

“How do you-?!” She wraps an arm around his shoulders, using her other hand to point her finger at his chest.  
“Jake English, I know everything. Everything. You can’t keep a secret from the greatest detective of all-”

“What’s this about detectives I hear, Roxy? Surely you are not discussing them without me being present. You do know how much I adore detectives, with their hats and all.” Cue the arrival of Jane Crocker, heiress of Crocker Corp, upcoming sleuth, and another of Jake’s cousins. Sometimes it’s a wonder how she manages to come right at the moment someone, usually Roxy, is attempting to embarrass the living hell out of him about his various interests, such as the very fine, and definitely single, Dirk Strider.

“Oh, why, Janey, I was just telling Jakey here about how Dirk-”

“If I may interrupt your conversation, what about my asshole of a brother?” The three friends whipped their heads around to the source of the voice. Standing there nonchalantly was none other than the prince of the school and renowned cool kid, Dave Strider.

“Oh, whew, it’s just you, Dave. For a second we thought it was Dirk.” Roxy replied, a sigh of relief escaping her lips and her hand touching her chest to further show her relief.

“Hey, cool kid! You need to stop running away from me when I have something to say to you. It’s not very nice.” A distressed, high screeching voice could be heard making its way quickly up the hall to where Dave was standing.

“And that’s my cue to leave before I get suckered in to another court case. See you losers later.” He strides to the other end of the hall in his usual cool demeanor, sparing no chance that the crazy blind girl will catch up to him, but in reality, she’d catch up to him one way or another. That’s how it usually worked out in the end anyways.

“That was...quite odd.” Jane dared to be the first to break the ice.

“That’s putting it mildly, Janey. It was, like, the weirdest thing ever, I mean, that crazy chick, him wanting to start beef with us…” Roxy trailed off.

“Why does it even bloody matter what we spew about his brother? I would think Strider junior would be the last to care what we said about his idiot of a brother,” Jake complained. He only has a vast amount of things to say when it came to the matter of talking to his friends. Other than that, everyone else got the silent treatment., except for the occasional talk to a certain Strider if he even got that lucky one day.

Roxy shrugged. “Dunno. Maybe it’s some sibling rivalry thing. I don’t got that going on with Rose, except occasionally, so y'know.”

“Or it could be a younger sibling dutifully looking out for their older sibling, Roxy.” Jane left out the implied ‘Your sister does that all the time, Roxy.’ 

“Oh, c’mon, Janey, loosen up a bit. You know I’ll always be there for ya. Don’t even gotta worry bout it.” She winked, even going the extra mile and blowing her a kiss. Jane let a small smile fall on her lips and returned the kiss back.

“Golly, can we please not flirt in front of the poor child? As if it’s not obvious the two of you are doing it.” Jake grumbled, not really caring if his two best friends flirted in front of him. He was used to it by now, and even if it really did bother him, he would’ve told them by now.

“Aw, the poor little chap can’t stand the idea of him not flirting with his man. I guess we better stop, cupcake.” Roxy sighed, shaking her head while throwing her hands in a quizzical manner.

“I suppose so, pumpkin. We might as well get to class, then.” She played along, removing the imaginary dust from her pleated skirt. “I heard that Mr. Strider was giving a presentation in science today, and that his younger brother, Dirk, would surely be present today.”

“Hey, we might even get the opportunity to tell him that…”

“Exactly,” Roxy agreed and flashed her girlfriend a big smile.

Jake stood up and pointed an accusing finger at Roxy. “Just what exactly were you two devils going to tell Strider while in science today, hm?”

“Oh, you know, the usual.” Roxy started.

“We have this friend who totally has the hots for you.”

“You should go out with him, you’d be good for him…”

“His rear could use some spanking…”

“Hey! We are not telling Strider that he should smack my hindquarters, alright? Or any of what you two just said.”

Roxy rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Sure, English, we are under your command. Not a word shall be spoken to sir Dirk.”

“My thoughts are with mistress Roxy.” She curtsied gracefully, giving a wicked smile in return. To the surprise of the trio, the bell rang loudly, signalling the beginning of their fourth period.

“Shoot! How did we lose track of time that fast? I swear, we were only talking for a few minutes!” Roxy complained, grabbing Jane with her and starting off on a run. They didn’t even have time to tell Jake goodbye. He had a different class to go to that period, which was ironically English.

“Well, you do know how time loves to fly by, Roxy. You did make a detour to the library for a book I had on reserve, afterall. Thank you, by the way.” She gave her a kiss on the cheek, much to the delight of her girlfriend.

“Don’t mention it, sugar. I’d anything for you.” She smiled back as they approached the entrance of their class.

“Whelp, here goes nothing.” She muttered, turning the knob to allow them both entrance to the science lab.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if I made any of the characters OOC, I tried, okay? Next chapter's full of shenanigans. If you liked this story, maybe you should consider scrolling down a bit more and leaving a comment, yeah? Or a like. It helps me know if you guys want this continued.


End file.
